When Social Media Starts to Affect How You See Yourself
Social media can be a wonderful way to discover new information and ideas, connect with others, and find encouragement, all within seconds. There is nothing inherently bad about using social media. However, the way we interact with social media can sometimes affect how we view ourselves, especially when it comes to Self-worth.
For many women, social media can become a place where comparison happens without us even realizing it. We may naturally seek out content from people who are similar to us or who are experiencing something we are currently experiencing. A new mom may follow other mothers to find encouragement, advice, or a sense of connection. Someone starting a new career may follow women who appear to have already reached the level of success she hopes to achieve. While finding relatable content can be helpful, it can also become easy to compare our own lives to what we see on our screens.
The problem is that social media often shows us a very small piece of someone else's life. We may see the happy family photo, the exciting vacation, the career accomplishment, or the thousands of comments praising someone's appearance or success without seeing everything that happened outside of that post. When we repeatedly compare our lives to these carefully selected moments, we can begin to believe that we are falling behind or that something is wrong with us.
This can become especially difficult when we begin connecting our worth to the amount of attention we receive online. Seeing someone else receive constant praise and admiration may lead us to wonder, Why don't I receive that kind of attention? What does she have that I don't? Over time, these thoughts can affect our self-esteem and the way we see ourselves. Research has found that when women's self-worth becomes more dependent on social media feedback, it can be associated with poorer psychological well-being (Sabik et al., 2020). So, What Can We Do About It? The answer does not necessarily have to be deleting every social media app from your phone. While taking a break from social media can sometimes be helpful, simply removing the source of comparison does not always address the thoughts and beliefs underneath it. Instead, try becoming more aware of what you are telling yourself while you are Scrolling.
The next time you notice yourself comparing your life to someone else's, pause and ask yourself:
- What am I telling myself right now?
- Am I assuming something about this person's life based on what I see online?
- What evidence do I have that this thought is actually true?
- Would I say this same thing to a friend?
- Is there another, more realistic way I can look at this situation?
For example, you may find yourself thinking, "Everyone else is more successful than me. " Rather than accepting that thought as a fact, challenge it. Is everyone actually more successful, or am I comparing my entire life to the small portion of someone else's life that they chose to share?
This does not mean pretending that negative thoughts do not exist or forcing yourself to think positively all the time. It means learning to recognize when your thoughts are unfair or unrealistic and practicing a more balanced way of viewing yourself. Therapy-based interventions that address social media comparison can help individuals reevaluate their priorities, engage in other meaningful activities, and reduce social comparison and envy (Plackett et al., 2023).
Remember That Your Worth Is Bigger Than a Screen
One of the most important things to remember is that your worth cannot be measured by likes, comments, followers, or how much attention someone else receives.Social media can be a meaningful tool for connection, but it does not define who you are. The next time you find yourself comparing your life to someone else's highlight reel, take a step back and remind yourself that someone else's life is not a
measurement of your own worth. You are allowed to appreciate someone else's accomplishments without using them as evidence that you are not enough.
-Sources & Further Reading
Sabik, N. J., Falat, J., & Magagnos, J. (2020). When self-worth depends on social media feedback:
Associations with psychological well-being. Sex Roles, 82, 411–421.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-019-01062-8
Plackett, R., Blyth, A., & Schartau, P. (2023). The impact of social media use interventions on
mental well-being: Systematic review. Journal of Medical Internet Research, 25,